Intro

Before the reflections,
before the growth,
before the episodes…
there was a letter.

The very first letter I ever wrote to my future husband.

Written on January 28, 2023 — in the quiet of my single season —
this letter wasn’t meant for performance.
It was a prayer.
A hope.
And a moment of honesty I needed to release.

And today, I want to share it with you.
Exactly how I wrote it.
No edits. No polish.
Just my voice… and my heart.

The Letter

January 28, 2023

Dear Future Husband,

I am patiently… but anxiously… waiting for you.
Waiting for God to reveal you to me.

But I’m scared.

Will I recognize you?

My mindset is slightly different now…
but would I still make the same mistakes again?
Would I end up pushing you away?

Please… don’t let me drive you away if you are sure of God’s revelation.

I am currently working on myself.
I’m learning to be okay by myself…
to enjoy my own company.

I’m trying to do as much as I can financially —
and do the things I want and love to do… independently.

I’m trying to make and have fun.
I’m learning to be more independent on a social level,
especially during this season of isolation and separation.

As I’m working on myself,
I’m also learning — and trying — not to deal with people who waste my time.

I know the effort I put forth in reaching out and trying to make plans…
but I’m no longer entertaining one-sided relationships.

I need to be met halfway.

So please —
don’t come and waste my time.

Please know what you want.
Especially… who you want.

I don’t want to play games.
I never did.

I may not have been in every relationship for the right reasons…
but I always knew who and what I wanted —
even if it was for the wrong reasons.

So if you make plans…
please stick with them.

I may not have a lot of friends
or hang out with many people…
but I want a best friend in you.

Someone I can talk to when something is wrong.
Someone I can act a fool around… and you’ll join me.
We can go on fun adventures.
Try new things.

And most importantly —
I pray you know what you want from life.
That you have a plan.

It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out —
but just enough…
so that if you willingly and prayerfully accept,
I could help you with it.
And you do the same for me.

I know what I can do for people —
how I can help them grow in character,
in life, even career-wise.

But… I don’t have many people who do the same for me.

I do most of the giving…
but not much receiving.

And I don’t just mean a little help here and there —
I mean high-quality advice,
support that matches the level I give.

I want someone who can call me out when needed —
but in a way that builds, not breaks.

Build me up.
Don’t tear me down.
And I pray I will do the same.

Even if it’s a hard truth…
I pray we are both willing and able to receive it,
in love,
and in health.

I don’t want you to be like me.
But I pray…
that we have the same — or similar — souls.

That we walk and grow… in harmony… together.

Love,
Your Future Wife.

Outro

That was the letter that started it all.

The beginning of this journey —
of healing, of writing, of preparing my heart
not just for love…
but for purpose.

In the next episode, I’ll unpack one of the quotes from this letter
and the life behind the lines.

Until then…
thank you for listening to my heart.