Season 1, Episode 1: Why I Wrote The First Letter

Why I Wrote The First Letter

When I wrote that first letter, I was in a season of searching.

I was healing. I was learning who I was outside of what people expected of me, outside of relationships, outside of all the noise. And in that quiet space, I found myself longing — longing not just for love, but for understanding, for peace, for purpose.

The letter became a way to release those thoughts. It wasn’t just about a future husband. Honestly, it was just as much a conversation with God, and with myself.

Writing helped me anchor my hope in something deeper. It gave me permission to believe in love again — not just romantic love, but self-love, God’s love, the kind of love that heals.

Before the First Letter

Before I ever wrote that first letter, I remember realizing that my single season was going to look different than I thought it would.

I didn’t enter it gracefully. It wasn’t this perfect choice of solitude. It was raw. It was filled with disappointment, questions, and honestly, a bit of heartbreak. But it was real.

And in that reality, God began to show me that this season wasn’t punishment. It was preparation.

Stepping into my single season wasn’t just about being without a partner. It was about rediscovering myself after relationships that didn’t work out the way I thought they would.

Some of those relationships left me feeling unseen. Others left me feeling like I had to shrink who I was just to make things work. And by the end, I was carrying more loss than love.

That kind of weight makes you question yourself — makes you wonder if you’re enough, or if love was even meant for you at all.

But instead of letting those questions define me, I chose to take this season to redefine myself. To sit with the silence. To learn how to stand on my own. To choose healing instead of holding onto brokenness.

It was lonely at times, yes. But it was also a gift — the kind of gift you don’t see until you’ve lived it.

Why I Started Writing

That’s what led me to write.

Writing became my therapy. It became my prayer. It became my way of sorting through the mess in my head and the ache in my heart.

Sometimes I didn’t have the words to say out loud, but I could put them on paper. And slowly, the words began to heal me.

The letter to my future husband wasn’t just about someone else. It was about me learning to see myself through God’s eyes again.

The Heart of the Series

And here’s the thing: when I went back to that letter, I realized something.

It wasn’t just words on a page. Inside it were small quotes — little sentences that carried entire chapters of my story. One line could hold years of silent battles. Another line carried lessons I was only just beginning to learn.

That’s how this podcast season was born. Instead of just leaving the letter as it was, I decided to take each of those quotes and unpack them. To reflect on where they came from, what they meant in that season, and what they might mean for you, too.

So, Dear Future Husband isn’t just a letter anymore. It’s a series of reflections on healing, faith, growth, and waiting with purpose.

Episode Two: The First Quote

The very first quote I want to explore is this:

“I am learning to be okay by myself and enjoy my own company.”

Sounds simple, right? But it carried years of struggle for me. Learning to be okay with myself wasn’t easy. Learning to enjoy my own company meant facing loneliness head-on. It meant choosing myself, even when I didn’t always feel chosen.

And that’s where we’ll go next — into Episode Two: Choosing Myself – What I Meant by ‘Enjoy My Own Company.’ Here is the full blog post.